Voicemail

Sorry about the missed calls. 

Somewhere along the way I didn’t pick up…

In truth, I didn’t want to pick up.

Or I didn’t have anything to say…

So I let it ring…

 

I let it go to voicemail a few times,

I let it go until I didn’t receive any more calls,

Until there were no more voice messages to sift through.

No more awkward conversations.

No more pauses.

So I’m sorry that I couldn’t pick up.

I miss your voice.

The excitement.

The energy. I was always elated when you picked up. You always wanted me to share so much… so many details.

So many layers, so much joy.

So much more…

I got the gig,

And a tuxedo.

Real james bond type stuff.

Still need to learn how to tie a bowtie.

 

I got the house.

Yes, I was able to finally get the bachelor pad. It’s nice, hardwood floors and a fireplace.

You would have loved it.

I’m living the life you always wanted for me.

I can finally afford, the little things.

Even got a chance to go to Brazil.

 

I was talking about it for so long.

But I held my promise.

You would of loved it so much.

 

I always wanted to go with you.

Travel the edges of the world.

Maybe even rented the castle airbnb in Europe aka the Chateau.

I wonder if you fly there on a whim now.

I wonder if you’re happy.

I wonder about a lot of things…

But I’m happier now…

 

I couldn’t pick up anymore.

I ran out of words.

My memories were choking me.

I ran out of breath.

 

But I’m happier now…

I met someone.

Well I think I did.

Here’s hoping she thinks of me in the same way.

Can’t put the cart ahead of the horse.

But she seems nice. Churchy.

But into financial literacy,

maybe she is the type of girl for me.

 

I’m sorry I couldn’t pick up anymore.

I simply ran out of words.

I needed to move on.

I needed to forget.

I needed to remember who I was.

I needed to forgive.

I needed to heal.

I needed this feeling…

 

…. So long ago

And forever to go.

 

*Letters to a ghost, part 3

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